racing against time.....
well, people... i'm trying very, very hard to post a new entry here today but how can i possibly blog when i kept getting miscalls from my mum ... she miscalls like every 10 mins since 12.30a.m!! but sad to say... i ignored them all..... muahaha... evil huh?? ... how annoying is that?.... i dont mean to be rude or anything.... but she's trying and forcing me to get to bed right now but it's only 1.15a.m. and it's way before my bedtime... my bedtime is set at the earliest... 3a.m. muahahhahaha... she's trying to get me to practice a more healthy lifestyle i suppose. you know, the sleep early and wake up early kind of thing..and the early bird gets the worm kinda theory... cozz she just couldnt stand my sleeping habits...where i would only wake up after 12p.m.well, i guess i better get my ass up as soon as possible before she comes down... and starts coming up with ridiculous rules such as.... i'll be banned from the computer for an entire week!! trust me.. i know my mum too well by now.... she will say such a thing and impose such a rule.... i mean, dont you guys think that i'm old enough to decide for myself on what my bedtime should be??* ponder*yeah i think so too... but unfortunately not my mum...similary.. i was grounded for a week just simply because i failed to wash and vaccum my car when i was instructed to... and plus to bath my dogs... and as a result of that.. i had to miss the star wars screening session at my friend's house.. damn!! well, i've to admit that i deserved that punishment.. as i've postponed those chores for 2 weeks already!! haaha served me right huh??this is only part of it.... sometimes i just wished that i would be given more freedom and space to do whatever that i want to do.. of course with limits and to do my own things and of course to make my own decisions... sometimes i just wished that one day she'll wake up and realise that i'm not her little girl anymore... i know that deep in my parents' hearts.. i will always be their little girl even when i'm 40!! hhaha...
i do know and understand their motive behind my curfews.. as the only reason they imposed such restrictions on me is because they fear for my safety especially on occasions where i had to drive home all alone after 12a.m... well... let's just blame it on the rise of crime rates,..and all the uncivilized...sex-crazed.. mentally unsound.. 70% animal and 30% human, potential criminals lurking around in our country and world be it bright day light or after dark....
hey, they are not the only ones who are worried whether i'll reach home safely or not.. i, myself am afraid as well....so.. i'm kinda cool about the curfews..... as i too, do not want to expose myself to unnessecary dangers. and even if i'm allowed to stay out late.... i myself will set a limit for myself.... the curfews are here to stay... who am i kidding.. curfews rock!!
however, i do want and need more space and freedom to make my own decisions and most of all to live my own life.... it's not like i'm not given any freedom at all... i do have the freedom to do my stuff but i just need more of it.. if you guys know what i mean. my mom is a control freak... in my opinion she controls my life a little too much. but at least i'm a little thankful that over the years,she has cut down her control to only 30% which means that now i have a full 70% total control of my life muahahaha....which of course is a good thing...
and almost half of my natural life.. my parents are the ones who made all the decisions for me sometimes even without consulting me first.. ok they must be thinking that i'm just a kid and they are my parents.. they are the ones who brought me into this world....without them there would be no me... they have every right to decide for me...this kind of shit... er.. NOT! well... i'm just quoting what they have told me in the past when i, you know.. rebelled.... ahha....and who am i that they need to consult me first.. but er hello.. it's my life you're talking about......but i just wished that they'll soon realise that i'm old and mature enough to make my own life decisions and i'm certainly able to look after myself.... and they soon will have to learn to trust the decisions made by me and respect those decisions. but as i got older..... i can see and notice that things are getting better...
and dont get me wrong... i'm not always a rebellious kid.... i'm most of the time a very obedient kid..... ahemm.....ahha only sometimes when i felt that the rules set by them are so damn ridiculous.... it's so damn ridiculous to the core i tell you.. and sometimes they would come up with the most unreasonable and the stupidest rule you'll ever heard of....so...when i think that the rules set by them....are way to ridiculous.... and i just couldnt accept such a rule... that's when my rebellious side kicks in.... haha....but trust me... normally... the parents will be the eventual winners.... and after that we'll sit and talk things over like mature adults.....muahaha...*LIKE* and we'll negotiate a few things or two so that both parties will be happy ahaaha....
but nowadays....my parents aint that strict anymore...and they encourage me once in a while to make my own decisions and they'll sort of just sound me on whether the decisions made by me are right or reasonable or not..... so for now.... i'm happy with that little improvement... and they do give me more freedom and space to do my own things without butting in too much....and nowadays i'm given the honour to handle matters on my own...and they are beginning to trust my judgements and
all this while.. my parents have a firm reign of my life.... but i noticed that in these few years.. they're starting to cut down on their control of my life.. which i see it and take it as a good sign.... it's a sign that they are slowly learning to let go....not fully of course.... ahh well, i did complain before about the strict rules and stuff... well.. they told me that as long as i'm living under their roof.. i'll just have to comply with their rules.... but rules are made to be broken right? haha..
i did test my parents' patience before... and i know very well... what the consequences are... so i'll try to be as obedient as possible.... ahaha and i dont plan on moving out till i'm 40 anyways... haha....but then again... no one knows for sure what the future holds...i'm no psychic.... i cant predict what's going to happen in the next ten or twenty years or so...
dont get me wrong... i respect my parents alot as well as their somehow ridiculous rules...... i came to realise that the rules are there for a reason.... same as road rules, the country rules... an stuff...
i guess, without their strict reign of my life... i wouldnt have turn out to be the very person that i am today... with that i'm very thankful.... they were strict for all good reasons... for my own good...
but then again.... it would be a plus if they can see that i'm at the stage of young adulthood and i'm about to enter the working life and i'll be exposed to all sorts of things out there.. both good and bad... and that it's time for me to deal with things and matters on my own.. and that it's time for me to fend for myself.... to be independent... as they will not be there for me for the rest of my life.....
and it's time for them to let me make my own decisions.... be it good or bad decisions.... even if they know that the decision that i'm about to make will harm me or will result in negative consequences... because they will not be able to protect me forever.. if my decision will result in negative consequences then, i'll just have to deal with it and learn from my mistakes.. and with that i'll be made into a wiser and stronger person... i know that most parents do not want to see their children getting hurt and stumble and falter in their lives... but the child, him or herself.... have to learn it the hard way sometimes.... as that stumble, that fall, that mistake.... will be a great life lesson for the child a lesson that the parents could not provide and from that... the child will only learn and improve.
well, it's a cold and harsh world out there........
well.. all in all... my love for my parents is infinite.... i might be very rebellious but i only rebel with a cause... ahha... and the truth is .. i love the way things are now.. my life... my family... my friends....
other than those mentioned above... my parents are kinda cool and wacky in a way..
my parents are mine for keeps... and i wont trade them for anything in the world.. they are irreplaceable...... they are one in a million.... and they are very loving and understanding... and they'll sacrifice basically anything and everything for their kids...
and i guess, they just want what's best for their children and they want to make sure that their kids turn out to be better than them...and to ensure that their kids do not make the same mistakes that they did in the past...
well, talking about sacrifices... just a little additional info... my dad was a cop and he smoked... and it wasnt until my mum was pregnant with me that my dad decided to kick he's smoking habit... and he later decided to pursue a degree in law in the U.K. as there werent many universities that offered law at that time..in malaysia because he wanted to provide a good life and the best life for me and my bros....and he worked his ass off to provide for us and to achieve what he has achieved today.. so. see.. money indeed doesnt drop from heaven.... the great lord above makes sure that all of us work our asses off...
all those instant fame, stardom and richness thing is just a mere fantasy.. mere dream and it's bullshit...
success doesnt come easily.... if you want it.. you will have to work hard for it....
hmm.... surprisingly.. my mum's miscalls have stopped all together... she must have fallen asleep while waiting for me to get to bed.... man.. i'm bad.... ahaha....
well, i better get going...
adios...
posted by thelinkinparkster @ 2:07 AM
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