devastated
I returned to work today after a 4 days hiatus. As expected there was more than a pile of work screaming for some attention from me. As I sat down at my workstation this morning... there was a heavy feeling in my heart. I kept flashing back to the life changing incident which took place on last tuesday in which has left a big gaping hole in my heart. Every single memory of her would automatically bring tears to my eyes. I sort of teared up a little this morning at work... well just a little as i didnt want anyone to know that i was crying or something... I'm seriously finding it extremely hard to let go. I was soon left with no time to feel sad as i was soon drowned in my work.My beloved maternal grandmother has left us for a better place on last tuesday.. for good. I've never shed so much tears in my entire life before... Let me see.... i cried almost the entire tuesday i must say and on and off and here and there. I knew this day would come...... but it was sooner than i had expected.
Then, there came a young monk who i personally think is kinda cute..... who conducted all the prayers during my grandma's wake. He was truly a nice guy. He cracked jokes to bring smiles and laughters to our otherwise tear-filled eyes. What's more he brought comfort to my grandfather...... He tried his very best to take our mind of the saddest part of our lives by asking us to help him to decorate my grandmother's altar and coffin. Those of you who came to the wake... the decorations that you saw was the result of my bros', cousins', the monk's and my hard work ok.... we worked till wee hours of the morning on tuesday.
The monk soon realised that my cousins, brothers, and I are a bunch of bananas, you know, people who calls themselves chinese but can hardly speak a word or two of the language, but most of us can understand the language. so he tried his best to converse in english....with us, albeit, it's totally broken for example: Crabs became crabbeds, foolish became frolish..... and many others....and he knew that we were laughing at his english.... man we are evil. ahaha
I would like to thank my friends who really made the effort to attend the wake and to pay their last respects to my grandmother and more importantly they gave me the additional emotional comfort (you guys know who you are). A big thank you to those who called and offered words of comfort and of course to those who smsed as well.
i was very close to my grandmother as she took good care of me since the day i was born. I would forever miss her smiles .i seriously miss every inch of her.... i miss her cooking skills.... her specialty has got to be POPIAH and CHICKEN RICE.
I'm sad, i'm heart broken, i'm devastated. Nothing more.......
Only time will tell...... whether i will be able to be my normal self again.
It takes more than a miracle to heal a broken heart...
I have to be strong for my grandfather's sake as for all my life i KNow that there is no other human being that loved my grandmother like my granfather did and I know he still does. In fact my entire family, close or distant, loves my grandma very, very much as she is one of a kind.
posted by thelinkinparkster @ 6:14 AM
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