A Place for my Head: October 2005

Saturday, October 29, 2005

nothing much has been happening lately.... oh well, next tuesday, 2nd November, is an All Souls Day for the Catholics. my family and I will be heading up to K.L. and we'll be going to the cemetery to pay respects to my grandma. well, that's all. since i've nothing to blog about.... here's something for you guys..since i've nothing else better to do.....

what’s the last thing you ate?
Some lousy tasteless duck mee and fried eggs with oysters

what’s the last thing u drank?Iced coffee

whats the last thing uve bought ?some working shirts….

whats the last song uve heard ?A place for my head- Linkin Park…… I LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats the last song that uve heard thatmakes u cry ?
I miss you- Avril Lavigne and I’ll meet you there - Simple Plan…

whats the last movie uve watch ?
House of Wax…. This movie rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats the last movie uve watch that makesu cry ?
I don’t know.. sad movies? Movies where people lost their loved ones… too many to be mentioned….. what could I say, I’m just a very sensitive and emotional person…. But I don’t cry for no apparent reason. there's always a reason to why i shed my tears..... hahaha...

whats the last book uve read ?
Illustrated encyclopedia of essential knowledge by reader’s digest… man I just love this book!!!!!!!!!!! This book rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whos the last person u saw ?My bros

whos the last person u talked to ?my bros

whats the last word u said ?what the fcuk??

where's the last place u went ?the kitchen to get some fruits…..

whats the last thing u did just now ? i fed my dog.

when was the last time u cry ?
yesterday, because things have been pretty hard these days….but I’m alright now…..

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? Crazy- simple plan…

7. What tshirt are you wearing? Tropicana Life

8. Do you "label" yourself? Yes! Definitely! Obviously! No DOUBT about that!!!!

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? SLEEPING!!!!!!!!!! What else??!!

6. What's a saying that you say a lot these days?
what the fcuk?!!!!! Bloody hell!!! What the crap?!! Fcuking shit! Fcuking hell!!!!!!! Holy shit!!!!! See ya!!! How are you doing? Cool......yeah............

8. Last furry thing you touched? my dogs!!!!!!!!!

19. How many hours a week do you work? 58 hours approximately…..60 hours at times…..

23. What is your current desk top picture?
some lame arsenal wallpaper set by my bros….and I hate it!!!!!!!! MU forever!!!!!!!!!!! my pc at the office has a Manchester United wallpaper though... muhahaaaaha..

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? er, my face?? duh!!!!
o, by the way, i'll not be working on next tuesday-deepavali, thursdays and fridays- hari raya...
YEay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

BONKERS!!

I'M SERIOUSLY GOING BONKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP WHEN I WAS WATCHING MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE SERIES "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" YESTERDAY. I'VE ANTICIPATED IT FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK AND WHEN I FINALLY COULD WATCH IT.. I FELL ASLEEP AFTER THE FIRST 15 MINUTES OF THE SHOW.... DAMN!!! PLUS, I'VE NEVER FALLEN ASLEEP WHILE I WAS WATCHING T.V. BEFORE.. EXCEPT WHEN I WAS WATCHING FOOTBALL MATCHES AND WHEN MANCHESTER UNITED PLAYED CRAPPY MATCHES.... AHHAHAA.... I'M SERIOUSLY FREAKING TIRED THESE DAYS... NORMALLY, I ALWAYS LONGED FOR THE IDIOT BOX WHEN I RETURNED HOME FROM A HARD DAY'S WORK. FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS, THE ONLY THING THAT I EVER LONGED FOR IS MY COMFY BED!!! I LOVE MY BED!!!! AHHAA...SLEEPING HAS NEVER BEEN BETTER!!!

IN THE OFFICE I WAS AND STILL AM HANDED SO MUCH WORK TO THE EXTENT THAT SOMETIMES I JUST WONDER WHETHER DO THEY KNOW AND REALISE THAT I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS AND A BRAIN. AT THE RATE THAT THEIR GOING...IT'S LIKE AS IF I HAVE SIX HANDS AND 3 BRAINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, WELL, I GUESS THIS IS WHAT YOU'LL GET WHEN YOU STEP FOOT INTO THE WORKING WORLD. SO LUSCIOUS YET SO FULL OF SHIT!

I'M MORE OR LESS LIKE A FREAKING ZOMBIE THESE DAYS....
WHENEVER I'M BACK HOME FROM THE OFFICE, I'M HALF DEAD.... OR AS GOOD AS DEAD AND I COULD BARELY KEEP MY EYES OPEN OR SHOULD I SAY, I'M FIGHTING A LOSING WAR TO KEEP MY EXTREMELY TIRED EYES OPEN. PERHAPS, TOOTHPICKS SHOULD DO THE TRICK... PERHAPS NOT?

BUMMED OUT... BURNED OUT...TIRED.....STRESSED OUT...BUMMED OUT... BURNED OUT..... TIRED........BUMMED OUT.. BURNED OUT....

BUMMED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I SAID SOMETHING STUPID AND SENSELESS TODAY... "MR.X, SHE'LL SIGN THOSE PURCHASE ORDERS LATER AS SHE'S DOING SOMETHING BUSY".... WHAT THE?? DOING SOMETHING BUSY???? MAN, AUDREY YOU'RE REALLY LOSING IT!!!!!!!!!

I'M TELLIN' YA..............I'M SERIOUSLY GOING BONKERS!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

couldnt be bothered....

Currently, there is an industrial trainee from MMU in my department…. We got along pretty well. We’re always hanging around the company together. We have actually gotten pretty close.. BUT..... there came a warning from another auntie, that as close as we may be, we better not portray it to the rest of the employees in that company. the reason? Somehow in someway, those green eyed monsters aka those jealous people would try to tear us apart….so the only and best option? just the usual hi and byes will do…..what the….???? and she said something like, even if i know her, just pretend that i dont... just pretend like i've not seen her in my life before.. what the??? See.. this world is a bad, BAD PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or is it just the citizens of Contraves??....

PS… for those of you who are wondering about how me and the bachelor guy are getting along…. I’ve a sad news to break it to you guys….. from now onwards I’ll stay away from this guy as well. He’s just another bloody fcuked up TWO HEADED SNAKE like everyone else. I was once fooled by his once charming smile and once sweet talks and sweet compliments…. How foolish could I be? I wonder….. well, NOT ANYMORE… ever heard of the phrase, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" yeah... i'm not gonna let it happen.....

I’ve always been misperceived as an innocent person, a person who knows nuts about the world. A naïve, stupid….. yada yada yada person. People in my department, guess what, I’m not as innocent and naïve as you people perceived me to be… Don’t ever try to step on my head…. I swear YOU’LL BE SO BLOODY FCUKING SORRY THAT YOU WERE EVER BORN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once you people crossed my line of tolerance… YOU BETTER WATCH OUT…. But then again.. no matter what I would DO even after the way you people treated me….one thing’s for sure… I’ll never stoop to your level.. treating you people the way you people have treated me only makes me the same as you people…cold, cunning…a bunch of sheep in wolves clothing…. I’ve been brought up better than that…So, I’ll be happy up here staring down at you pathetic losers with my head held up high in the air.. and I shall say “come and get me” if you can!!!!! I'm tougher than most of you perceived me to be... muahahahahaa….

I guess, in the working world, there’s no such thing as being nice to anyone. There’s no such thing as trust….. there’s no such thing as TRUE friendship…. You just couldnt be too nice as they would grab that opportunity to use you and to hurt you, and eventually, they'll step on your head. I guess being nice is a crime in the office... if you are being nice, they would be thinking that you might have some hidden intentions... fcuk that! Jealousy can get the worst out of some people at times….

Sometimes I just wished that I have the guts to tell them to fcuk off!, whenever they strut to my desk with their ever so pathetic fake smiles.. asking me to photostate their invoices….why cant they just do it themselves.. the photocopy machine is just a couple of steps away… and they’ll ask me to fax their purchase orders to their suppliers… why cant they do that as well.. it’s just a couple of baby steps away…. they had better work that ass of theirs, as those fat asses are getting way too large, so large until the chairs might not be big enough to support their asses.... hahaa... i know i'm being crude but who the heck cares??

By the way, yesterday I have finally watched House of Wax…that movie is super cool man…. It’s so bloody brutal…and gruesome… I think I’ll watch it again…
you guys should do the same…. Ahaha…

Till then…

mr. nice guy no more....

Two days ago, which was a Thursday, was indeed a really sad day for all MAlaysians and some non-MAlaysians as well. Our first lady, Datin Seri Endon MAhmood has passed away. I heard about the sad news when i was at work... It came as a shock to me really, as i thought she was responding well to the chemotherapy treatments... oh..well... i guess the cancer has finally gotten the better of her. May her soul rest in peace. Well, after a day's of almost slightly more than 12 hours of work, I headed back to my good ole' car to drive home. As I turned on my radio, to my favourite station, Hitz.fm of course, it was playing some old, and slow instrumental songs. At first I thought, i had tuned to the wrong station, but as i took a peep at the radio's panel, it showed, 93.30..... then i tuned to MIX..then TRAXFM then light and easy, damn, they were all playing the same songs... hmm.. i guess, they were paying a tribute to the late Endon...
and thanks to that, i actually am beginning to love those good ole' classic instrumental songs again, I’ve sort of ditched my collection of oldies and classics soon after i hit mid-teens ahhaa....... the sounds of clear piano and violin has won my heart yet again.. it has been ages since i last listened to those songs….... haahha.. i used to love Richard Clayderman ALOT back in my primary school days.... but now, i prefer fast paced songs.... I think I’ll start searching for those clayderman songs again…

remember when i told you guys about how nice my colleagues are?... guess what... i am finally able to see their true stripes (was blind, but now I see)... well some of them to be more precise.... not all.... there are still some genuine people around.. i think.. i hope.... in what sense?? Well, I would KISS (Keep It Short and Simple).. Let’s just put it this way, they would be all nice and friendly and smiley and goody to you when they needed a favour from you or when they want to dig about your personal life, but when they dont, they would be as cold as ice.... they are just a bunch of bloody goddamn fakers!!!!!!!!!! and i despise such people so ever much.....

My Admin manager, summoned me to her office the other day and she told me something about, i better watch what i say and do in the company.. and don’t trust anyone as no one can be trusted. She asked me about how I was being treated and so forth... on whether I was being bullied or pushed around, due to the fact that I was rather fresh and green in the workforce… She told me that my colleagues might be nice and all but they could just turn around and backstab me at the very next second. She told me to be extra careful as such incidents have happened before. Well, these words coming from someone of her position really shocked the hell out of me…well not really, as I’ve heard from lots of cousins and friends about such people as well. Her last words to me before I stepped out of her office were this “use your wisdom and you should do just fine”… those few words are still echo-ing in my ears till today...

Well, fine…. if that’s how my colleagues want things to be.. I’ll give it to them…. I’ll just concentrate entirely on my work… I wont give a damn whether the rest of them are dead or alive, I’ll just keep to myself… there shall be no more story sharing, no more friendly chats…No more being Mr. nice guy anymore… I’ve even be forewarned that there are lots of KPCS aka busybodys… around.. and they’ll try their very best to dig everything about you… I’ll just mind my own business from now onwards….

The catch…. Don’t tell anybody anything!…. Thanks to such people…. I’ll be on my guard at all times…. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!!!!!!, Audrey. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

MY WASTED WEEKEND

i practically spent my entire yesterday infront of the idiot box. Other than watching all the t.v. series shown on channel 70, 61, 60, 71, 72, 52, 51, 50, 18, 17, 10 (ASTRO of course), and the good old channels 7, 3 and 2........ i watched a couple of DVDS as well.. amongst them were HOSTAGE which starred bRUce WILLIS, this movie is a damn good one.... it's a must watch for everyone...; GUESS WHO, which starred Ashton kutcher, this movie is damn bloody hilarious....and i watched nAked Weapon...which starred Daniel Woo and Maggie Cheung.... this too is a movie that shouldnt be missed by anyone, this show is really bloody brutal man...... see..... told ya i watched the idiot box the whole day.. haaha..
hey wait, i took a break from the idiot box for awhile to chaffeur my bro, aaron to a fishery nearby, as he wanted to buy some new fishes to replace the old ones that has sadly died after spending only a week in his aquarium... hahhha....

i was supposed to jog, but the lure of the idiot box was too powerful, so unfortunately, my ass was glued to the seat. ahaa.. this sure explains the extra pounds that i'm gaining.... haaha.

basically other than that, lots of things are happening in my life right now. both good and bad. and i dont wanna talk about the bad ones... and neither will i say anything about the good ones.

Basically, this will sum it all up.

I'M LIVING ON A PRAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

oh well

Referring to the previous post... I guess it's good to challenge ourselves to do some crazy stuff once in a while. Besides, life would be a bore if we just stick to the same routine, eat the same old stuff, do the same old things.. life would be a bore if we just confine ourselves with the same old same old....
Life will be interesting if we challenge ourselves… to see what’s our limit….
Honestly, eating those worms have certainly spiced up my life and have just added a twist in the story of my life...ahhaaaaa….

Anyway, two days ago, which was a Friday, my once faithful and dependable high-heel sandals failed on me. I wore it to work as usual. Then as I was walking around the company, from my department to the store, to the production site, to the cafeteria, to the bathroom, to anywhere...I heard a strange clicking sound whenever I took a stride. So initially, I just ignored it….. thinking that it was something else, anything else but my own sandals. Then, at the later part of the afternoon, the clicking sound got louder as I walked longer and faster. So, that was when i looked down at my feet, and thus, that was when I realised that the clicking sounds were from my sandals. The base of my heels has peeled off. But I was too lazy to do anything about it. So I just walked around with the irritating clicking sound. People could actually tell from a distance that I was heading their way, because the clicking sound was very loud and prominent… ahaha. Then I sort of got pissed off and I decided to do something about it. I guess and i could tell that my colleagues were getting kinda annoyed with the clicking sounds…. Who wouldn’t?… I know I would, if I heard those clicking sounds from someone else. I came up with an ingenious solution. I took a rubberband, and just tied the base of my sandals to the surface of my sandals…. it actually worked and was pretty effective and it lasted till I reached home… smart eyy…. Ahaha….. well, that was the end of the pathetic clicking sounds and guess what, it's the end of my sandals as well. Well, looks like it’s time for me to get myself a new pair of sandals..….ahahahaa….

Hmm.. why am I blogging about my sandals? well…..i guess I’m just bored and I’ve nothing else better to do…. Ahhaa…

Till then…..

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I ATE WORMS!!!!!

yeah, that's right i ATE WORMS yesterday. they were sago tree worms... . obviously worms that can be found in sago trees.... I'm 100 percent not bullshitting about this!!!!!! If you guys need some physical evidence, i'm sorry to say that i could not provide that as it has been processed and flushed.... you guys should get the idea haha.... but.. i could always give you the phone number of my department's official worm provider... maybe he could provide you with a quick fix of............ no not marijuana...... WORMS!!!! well, his daughter went to chiang mai(Thailand, i think) haha... and she brought back with her a big box of fried worms... so, being the generous guy that he has always been, he shared it with us.... he served us the worms during breakfast AND LUNCH!!! generous indeed eyy... well, at first, like any sane human being, i was doubtful on taking my first bite on the worm, but it was all thanks to the bachelor guy who urged me on, and assured me that, the worms taste good... and that it was actually quite er..... TASTY??!! so, i just shoved the entire worm in my mouth. upon getting the first taste of the worm, i almost gagged aka puked.... then... i thought what the heck..so i just chewed on the worm and swallowed it... but the taste was too over-powering that i had to quickly take in big gulps of tea during breakfast.. and i had to shove in a few spoonfuls of rice during lunch... haha.. disgusting as the worms may be, i ate 6 of them.....ahaaahaha... mad huh.... I psycho-ed myself to think that I was eating chocolates and not worms…. Did it work? Nah… it didn’t.. ahaha…you guys might wonder that, if i've discovered that the worms taste bad after my first bite, then why on earth did i still eat another 5 worms right? well, honestly i just ate it for the sake of just eating them... haahhaha.... and i ate it for the fun of it and also to impress the people around me.... ahaha...stupid right? i know....but most of all, i take it as a personal challenge...to see how crazy i could actually get... but, at least now i'm so darn proud to go around and blow my trumpet that i've eaten 6 sago tree worms... ahahha...

anyway, that colleague of mine has some serious issues man….. he has a taste for exotic meat. He has eaten horse, camel, tiger, rabbit, snake,DOG(man, I better keep my beloved dogs far, far away from this guy….), fried scorpions and fried COCKROACHES before!! And he even told us that we could actually get these meat at Thailand and China… NO THANKS!... What the hell is wrong with this guy!!?? I wonder if he sees a cockroach in his house, will he catch it and dip it in some flour and fry it and then eat it….. I shudder and that thought.. man.. he’s just plain sick man….
Another colleague came up with a good joke, when he was asked to eat those worms… he said “ I’m not a chicken nor a bird, why should I eat those worms”…ahahha… maybe it’s not that funny after all….after I ate six worms, I just couldn’t eat anymore.. not one, not half… what suprised me most was that, the bachelor guy and that worm supplier actually ate those worms like as if, they were indulging in the world’s finest chocolates….they stuffed in 3 to 5 worms into their mouths at one go… hmm.. sick and weird people alert….hahaha….
I could actually see the worms’ heads and their tiny legs… actually those worms looked like caterpillars….but they are the miniature versions of caterpillars…
The taste of the worms? crunchy shells, earthy taste and of course wormy…. The taste will stay in your mouth for a couple of hours!! I’m serious man…Simply put…. They were disgusting and horrible…. I think I’m kinda scarred by the worms already, as till today I can actually still imagine the taste of those worms… yeah.. it’s that bad… All I can say is that WORMS ARE HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED for anyone!! But, you can try if you want to….

Till then…

Monday, October 10, 2005

the farewell party...

last saturday, I attended a colleague's farewell party at a golden something condominium at klebang. The colleague is the VERY cute and young and good looking Swiss guy that I’ve been telling you guys about. By the way, in case you guys are wondering, yes, he has a name… he’s Daniel Mieyers. He has worked in contraves for about a year.. actually, he was just doing his internship here. Now, he’ll be heading back to Switzerland to complete his degree. He’s pursuing a degree in systems engineering…
well, the party was GREAT!! The bosses too were there…. I felt kinda intimidated at first because of their presence but thankfully I soon warmed up to them…. Well, they are not that bad actually…. They are kinda nice when they are not in the office….. haha…..

The food was ok I think…. But the after dinner event was the best!! His condominium has a swimming pool.. so after dinner, most of us changed into our swimming attires and jumped into the pool. At first we just swam casually… then later we played water polo…. Haha… and believe it or not we actually played water polo in the kiddy pool.. because some of the old uncles and aunties couldn’t swim…. But after awhile, things got pretty boring as the water was shallow and it was no fun at all! So after accommodating those who couldn’t swim by playing in the kiddy pool for about half and hour, we shifted to the adults’ pool instead…. That was when the fun and chaos began!!!! I didn’t know that water polo is so much fun until that night.. eventhough it was fun but the game is pretty taxing on both the arms and legs as, you’ll have to keep kicking to stay afloat and use your arms to help you to move about…. Hahaha… we had to stop every 15 minutes or so…. Because everybody just couldn’t kick anymore and after resting for about 5 minutes or so, we continued playing till everyone seriously couldn’t move an inch any longer……ahaha….

It was total madness man.. when we played water polo… you could see people rushing and dashing for the ball. It was damn funny, I tell you and I just couldn’t stop laughing…. As we dont really know how to play the game thus we don’t know about the rules… so basically, there were no rules involved…. Except : no pressing people’s heads under the water, no punching, no scratching, no kicking, no hair-pulling, no biting, and no groping…. Haaha.. it was indeed fun, with a lot of shouting and screaming involved. The bosses of course didn’t join us in the pool but they were our biggest supporters.. some old aunties didn’t join us either….. mostly youngsters and a few fit uncles and aunties of course…. haaaha….
Each and everyone of us left that place with a definite big smile on our faces that night…. DEFINITELY!!!!
As for the going away present, my other colleagues shared and bought him a platinum ring… I didn’t want to share with them, so I bought him a T- Shirt instead… ahha..

Man, I’m sure gonna miss him….. even though we hardly spoke to each other during the working hours, just the usual hi and byes, luckily we managed to talk a lot that night. He’s really a very, very nice guy….i finally got to know him better, but sadly it’s too late…. Ahahaa…

Nothing much has happened within these few days. O, tomorrow I’ll be meeting up with my friends for a dinner at burger king at MP, and later we’ll be visiting a friend at Makhota Medical Center… He’ll be going for a knee surgery tomorrow....… hope everything goes well…..

Till then….

Sunday, October 09, 2005

dear, cutierocker

This post is dedicated to my good friend, ALYL…..

you know, you're NOT the only one who have to go through all these tedious, sickening and maybe most of the time fruitless procedures in order to get the job that you've always dreamed of doing.... and most of the time, your applications are rejected...

i can say that almost 99.99% of graduates have to go through all that and have to endure weeks and weeks of painful rejections before they can finally get a job. all my cousins and friends went through that as well...and i , myself went through that...before i got lucky( well just a little)....

i know that you might be angry at those lucky ones... and assumed that they got the job solely because of their connections.... yes.. i do agree with you on that.....

HOWEVER....

just remember that once we're employees of that company, we're all treated the same.... there are no special treatments whatsoever...

they dont give a damn whether you're the PM's kid or you're the QUEEN OF ENGLAND or you're Bill gates's daughter....

if we dont perform up to expectations and screw up, dont you think that we'll get our asses fired sooner than you can say employed??!!

we "lucky" ones have to work our asses DAMN BLOODY HARD to make sure that those bosses are happy with our performances and to live up to their expectations!! it's not EASY....

I've been there and done that and I'M STILL THERE!!!! i'm working under intense pressure everyday!!!!!
plus, i've to make sure that their trust that they've given me is always there. they've employed me, with the trust that i'll do my job well, be productive and that I'LL NEVER DISAPPOINT them!!!!

every you go.. it'll be the same.... work is NO JOYRIDE!!!!

and you might think that because of that connections we will never get fired,, because they're just giving face .. this is when you're so, SO wrong.. it has been made clear to me that if i ever break a single rule and if i dont perform...and if i screw up, they are free to fire my sorry ass!!!!....anytime.... it's stated in my contract. in black and white.....

life IS ALWAYS so NOT FAIR!! nothing is fair in this world...we just have to deal with it, like it or not... and we just have to make the best out of the unfairness......

applying for jobs and getting rejected are both very,very normal procedures that every tom, dick and harry HAS to go through.....

life is full of obstacles.... life will not be life without challenges and obstacles... life is full of ups and downs.....
sure each and everyone of us hoped for a plain sailing life..and that everything goes just as we planned and wanted them to be.... who doesnt??

i'm sorry to break it to you that well, sometimes, things might not go our way, as planned....

life is not a bed of roses!!

come to think of it life might actually be a bore without these challenges.. as everything will be TOO perfect and true...

just be patient and persevere!!!!! dont ever stop chasing after your DREAMs just because of a few obstacles along the way..

believe in yourself and have faith in yourself... I'm sure you will achieve your dreams... someday.. somehow...

i've the confidence in you that you'll achieve your dreams and one day, you'll be at the top of the corporate ladder for sure!! but the question is.. DO YOU HAVE THat CONFIDENCE IN YOU??

just be patient and take one step at a time. you've no plane to catch....we are all still young, we have a full life ahead of us....
i'm sure that good things will come your way very, very soon.....

and so what if you failed to secure a good job now?? It’s not a big deal… as long as you’re willing to try and try and try again till you get one…..

PATIENCE IS VIRTUE, my friend.....

Thursday, October 06, 2005

the importance of sleep

last night, i suffered from bouts of insomnia. i went to bed at around 12.30a.m. and i tossed and turned, but couldnt sleep, got up, drank a glass of milk, went back to bed, and tossed and turned, still couldnt sleep, got up, did some light reading, in hopes that light reading would eventually act as my sleeping pills.. but it failed, so i tossed and turned again till about 3.30a.m. and i was wide awake again at 5.45a.m, as i needed to get myself ready for work..... when i said wide awake, it's just a metaphor, as my eyes were wide open but my brain was still fast asleep. i was so tired to the extent that i didnt even have the appetite to eat my breakfast.. by the way, they served laksa today...
i was like a freaking zombie the entire day today, being semi-conscious most of the time.....i washed my face frequently throughout the entire day and sucked on sweets to keep myself awake.....and i even faxed a purchase order to a wrong company. how embarassing could that be?? at least i didnt further commit any more silly mistakes man....thank goodness for that....

anyways, remember that mid-thirties auntie aka the newbie in my department that i told you guys about? well, she has RESIGNED!!!!!! she gave a short 24 hours notice!! what the heck?? she tendered her resignation today..... i guess she just couldnt cope with the amount of workload and the huge amount of pressure that comes together with it. i thought i was the only weirdo who felt like quitting after my first few days there. i was just plain saying it without actually giving a thoughtful consideration.... that's why after much consideration, i chose to stay..... but she......she just bid her goodbyes today. she was together with us for only about 3 weeks at the most.... sigh.....i guess i'll miss her presence a little in the office as she sat right infront of me....

and it's BECAUSE of HER, i'm TWICE the times as DEAD!!! now, my workload has just been painfully increased!!!!!!!!!!! i'm assigned to help the other purchasers to chip in to do her purchasing tasks as well....... man oh man...... my plate is so full right now, that the food are spilling all over the table...i really do hate to whine about my workload.... as it's painful for my readers to read about it here..... hahaa..... ok.... enough said.....

i was so tired today that i uttered words that didnt make any sense at all such as, "what's the email address for circuits plus(a company's name), i want to fax these purchase orders to them"... tell me what's wrong with that sentence?

and i was so sleepy and tired today that during lunch, i took an empty cup to the table and actually, "drank" from that empty cup.... it was then that i realised that i've forgotten to pour tea into my cup like i'm supposed to... hahaa... yeah, i was the ultimate fool today..... ahaha...

I better get some good sleep now..

Till then…

my 5 cents worth of thought...

As I sit here, so ever comfortably in the room, without a worry in the world about whether I’ll be safe or whether a bomb will detonate right here in my housing area or maybe in this very room itself at the very next minute, or maybe my house will be blown away by the hurricane.. and so forth… The very reason that i can do so is because I’m living in a country that is safe from such incidents, at least for now, as no one can really predict what the future holds. Living in a country like Malaysia is indeed a blessing. As, we're a multiracial country where different races with different ethnic and culture backgrounds can live together harmoniously and caringly and lovingly. We’re safe from natural disasters in the instances of tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, and volcano eruptions. we are thus far safe from the brutal works of bloody terrorists. let's just hope that the government and the necessary powers will continue to ensure that such people do not set foot in our peaceful country. Who said that the grass is always greener at the other side of the world?? i say, the grass is way, way greener and juicier here in MAlaysia. Though i sure do hope that the weather here will be less torturous at times.... it's so damn freaking humid and hot!! A change of the weather will be a plus…. Who am I kidding anyway…..

as i sit here, taking a long deserved break from my work which has already sucked half of my life away…., sipping on my coffee......listening to the soothing sound of music by the likes of the recent works of mike shinoda's fort minor.... damn he's good!, blink 182 and sum 41, my mind flashed back to the few recent heart wrenching words on the front page of the newspaper that had caught my eyes. BALI bombed again!! my first thought was what the fcuk??!! not AGAIN??!! they said that the lightning will not strike at the same spot twice right?? but this??... My heart immediately went out to the families of the bomb victims…..pictures of victims covered in blood, lying motionless and lifeless, just gives me the Goosebumps…just a couple of weeks back, there were a string of bombings in Baghdad as well…..what have these victims done to deserve this? Just being at the wrong place at the wrong time?? How much hatred could a fellow human kind has in him that motivates him to do such an unforgivable, heinous and sinful act on their fellow humans?? HOW MUCH!!!!!?? And for what reason?? For the love of their GOD!!!! BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!! You don’t have to be a genius to know that it’s fcuking rubbish!!! What the hell were they thinking when they pulled off a sickening stunt like that?? What on earth were going through their minds before they blow themselves up and many others that were around them? What? What it takes for them to eventually realize that what they were doing is so freaking wrong?? What?? People often say that when it’s our time to die…we’ll die somehow, be it peacefully on our beds surrounded by loved ones, on the road, being knocked down and rolled over by some idiotic, f**cked up drunk or senseless and careless drivers, being murdered, plane crash, victims of natural disasters.. so on and so forth. But being blown to bits and smithereens is not everyone’s dream way of dying... Some sort like in the movie, Final destination… where it’s mentioned in the movie that each and everyone of us has a death pattern and that we can never cheat death….. how true is that, well…. I’m no death “guru” so don’t ask me…. Ahhaha ….

I wonder what the hell is going on in this world today?? I’m so freaking sick of hearing and seeing the same damn thing over and over again! Almost everyday when I flip through the morning papers or watch the evening news, I see the same damn thing but it’s just a different day. There are just too many unneccesary bloodshed in this world these days. This world is black and the hearts are cold. everyone's doing nothing,so nothing has changed. When will we stop killing one another? When will we learn to love one another? When will all this senseless killings come to an end? The end of the world?? Sheesh……when will the world’s most powerful leaders do something about this before we humans wipe ourselves out before any other pandemic outbreaks or simply put even before the end of the world?? some of you out there might be naive enough to think that why on earth should we give a damn about such issues as it's happening over there... in some other countries which are thousands and thousands of miles away and plus we're not affected. so why bother? well, i would like to put it this way, if it could happen there or anywhere else, it sure can happen to us here as well... the question is when? oh well, some of you just love to stick to the "ignorance is bliss" kinda attitude.... oh well... good for you then....

I know that I might be too powerless to be even saying such things or needless to say to do anything about it.…. Who am I to judge right? and some of you might even think that, dont i have enough on my plate to worry about and to deal with already and now, i want to save the world?? hahaha...

well, it's just my 5 cents worth of thought.... anyways

Anyway, my favourite lyrics from one of my favourite bands is this.

“ There’s a hole in the world tonight,
There’s a cloud of fear and sorrow,
Don’t let there be a hole in the world tomorrow.

Oh they tell me there's a place over yonder,cool water running through the burning sand,
until we learn to love one another,
We’ll never reach the promise land”

by Eagles, “Hole in the World”

enough said...

GO CHECK OUT MIKE SHINODA'S FORT MINOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S COOL!!!!